For a month, 11-year-old Cameron Brundidge was bullied at Cottage Grove Middle School but didn’t say anything to anyone.
“I didn’t want to be labeled a snitch,” the sixth-grader said.
While Cameron’s frightening experience has been reported and resolved, what she went through underscores the grave, even tragic, consequences of bullying. In the past month, two 11-year-old girls, one in Texas and the other in Illinois, died by suicide as the result of bullying. According to the National Institutes of Health, the rate of suicide in preteens has risen 8% annually since 2008 and one of the top reasons is bullying.
That’s why Cameron wants to tell her story to share her experience with her peers. On March 5 she will speak to participants in Dr. Verna’s Girls Taking Action Program. Founded by Dr. Verna Cornelia Price, Girls Taking Action motivates, empowers and educates junior and senior high girls from under-resourced communities.
For Cameron, the bullying started after she accidentally sat in a boy’s chair at an orchestra concert. When he asked her to move, she didn’t hear him over the instruments. His behavior escalated over several weeks, from throwing pencils at her to telling her he had a gun.
“I started to feel scared and threatened,” Cameron recalled.
Her mother Sheletta Brundidge was shocked when she got a call after Cameron reported the behavior to her counselor.
“I’m hyper-vigilant about changes in my kids and I didn’t see any red flags,” said Brundidge, an autism advocate with three children, including Cameron, on the autism spectrum.
Students at Cameron’s Cottage Grove middle school are encouraged to report bullying as defined in the South Washington County School District’s policy which states, “Any person who believes he or she has been the target or victim of bullying or any person with knowledge or belief of conduct that may constitute bullying shall report the alleged acts immediately to an appropriate school district official.”
Despite that, Cameron didn’t say anything, which her mother found uncharacteristic. Brundidge learned that fear kept Cameron quiet.
“She's a little boss lady. She's very vocal at home with me, her dad and brothers and is an advocate for kids with autism,” Brundidge said. “But this young man said he had a gun. She was concerned he’d shoot up the school and worried about her safety and the safety of her friends.”
Cameron’s silence did not surprise professionals who work with youth.
“Many kids stay silent about bullying because of shame and a loss of control. They may feel embarrassed, believing the bullying is their fault or that speaking up will make them seem weak,” said Brandon Jones, executive director of the Minnesota Association for Children's Mental Health.
Jones said creating a safe and open environment where kids feel comfortable sharing is key.
“Instead of yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended ones like, ‘Has anything been making you feel uncomfortable at school?’ or ‘Who do you like spending time with at lunch?’ Let them know they’re not alone and you’re there to support them,” he said.
Brundidge has now spoken with school officials, filed a police report and had a heart-to-heart with her young daughter.
“We talked about her using her voice to be bold and brave. She’s speaking up and speaking out,” Brundidge said.